I can't Change the Life!

Life for me, its passing time and thinking what to do next to keep myself busy. I read lots of books on success, self confidence, change yourself not world and conclusion of doing this is that they teach me to accept the life the way it is. I am not going to say that these books help me a lot but these books actually decrease my pain, depression and stress, and above all gives me reason to go on with life after anything happens that not acceptable to me. I am not a public person and I hate being in the center of any attention and some time you do mistakes with you life and after that instead of facing the result and you run from your situation. So, Its not your fault that you behave like this because its your nature that way you are the way you are and if you change that then that person is new you. So after soo many  mistake I came to this point in life that my future and past actually in real are my present, I mean the person I am today is because of my future and, am not the person today is because of my past.
The concept of Life is not complex for me I have to accept the fact that I can't change my Life just in seconds but I change my view of Life in seconds. By thinking like this, I am making improvement in my life and my surrounding. I am not saying that you have to behave rich if you want to be rice tomorrow but I am saying you do the things what you are not doing in past to became rich today. To prove this I have a my story of my side, so in my family money plays important role for every purpose so we grow-up by collect and understanding the flow of money and well 50-100 bucks on a years saving is not much for me that time in 90's that money means a lot of crackers for festival for us and new bat for cricket team or buying the thing for that we are collecting and now in today's after soo many years where I forgot the methods how we are able to collect that kind of money its actually helping me that I have to do some thing different from past to make my future the way I wanted. And when I look in to my past life hasn't change a bit I wanted my things that time and I done some work in past from selling fruits on stress and door to door to gambling but the change is that now I wanted different things I just don't want money, success and a good life but I want that satisfaction about life that I somehow manages to change my life from my past.